Keep Going

I always ask myself "is it worth it?" when it comes to my writing. I wonder if anyone would really read it, or if I could even sell one book. Would people bash it down? Will I be the laughing stock of the world? Highly doubtful but it's common to doubt what you're writing. 

When I do, I go back and read some of my stories I wrote in middle school and high school. I was pretty good at keeping up a fanfic page in middle school. Then I realize how much I have improved in my writing skills. It keeps me going just a page more.  I still ask my self why I decided on being an English major.

Why did I chose to be an English major? Well originally I wanted to teach and I don't like math... or dates so English or PE would be the only thing I would want to teach. 

Once I attended WSU, I realized that I just love literature. I love to find hidden clues, left from men (and some women) who died hundreds of years ago. I love the people here in the program, they get me, they know how I think and how I see the world. When I'm in a room with people from Math or Sciences, I don't understand what they do and it's hard for them to explain things to be. 

I used to hate reading. Mostly because all my family did was read. Sometimes they would miss appointments just because they were reading. I told myself that I wasn't going to do that.

I did gain a love of writing when I was younger. I was in fifth grade when I got my first creative writing project. I was aloud to write a story, any story I wanted. Just as long as it was at least 2 pages. I wrote a story about a world that didn't need men, so all of them were frozen and hidden under water. My teacher thought it was cute and told me I should be a writer. I never took her seriously.

Once I got to High school, it changed. My Sophomore English teacher introduced me to saying what I wanted in my papers. I didn't have to hold back on my opinion just because the book was considered a "classic". I got a chance to write a story again. This time I wrote about knights (since my high school mascot was the Knight) and the different types of knights at my school. One of my classmates (one who used to tease me a lot) told me to be a writer. 

That's why I'm here. Why are you?

First Chapter Due

My first chapter is due in my YA class in a few days now. I've already have five chapters but it's very rough. Or, at least to me they're rough. Another bridge I have to cross is believing that my story can stand up. If I don't believe in it, it won't be able to stand up to criticism. When someone says that "this has to much [insert something] in it" I have to either say "I see what you mean" or "No, it has the right amount, you just don't see the big picture". It's hard sometimes to know which is right. Obviously no one knows my child the way I do. My main character is and will always be my friend and my child. I will protect her/him and cry when I can't.

This brings me to the reason why I love to write. I write because I want people to meet these characters I have met and love. They aren't known to anyone but me and I think it's a shame. I try to put them in a world that best shows off their talents, weaknesses, compassion, and skills. This is also why I'm a bit hesitant in letting them meet other people. I'm afraid that other people with judge them and put them in categories. They are just trying to be themselves, not anyone else. Each character, no matter their gender, sexuality, or belief, is part of me. I sometimes base them off of a friend or family member but in the end, they have something in common with me. When I show them to someone, it's like sharing a private thought to a stranger. It's very nerve-racking. But I want to let people know that there are people like this around and they deserve to be known, because it's how I express myself.